Hi Laura,
As I was reading your post I felt like I could have wrote everything that you said. I just turned 29 and finally stopped drinking almost 5 months ago. I have tried to stop numerous times on my own but always came back to drinking. Things that have helped me are going to therapy and trying out young peoples AA meetings, as well as read and post on SR. It has definitely been a struggle for me as well so I understand where your coming from. I had to let go of some friends, which I realized they were never truly friends just drinking buddies. That was a lot of what our friendship revolved around. Anyway just try taking one day at a time. You will get a lot of great advice and support from others here.