laura19

I have struggled with alcohol for years although never admitting to myself that it was a problem in my life. I assumed that my drinking habits were "normal" for my age and constantly found excuses for them. I binge drink on the weekends to the point of constantly blacking out or making myself sick. I use alcohol as a crutch, I am shy so it becomes my way of loosening up in social situations. It also becomes a reward after I've had a stressful week and a way to cope with difficulties in my life. I constantly feel ashamed of myself after a night of drinking; alcohol has made me become something I don't like. I have a family history of alcoholism and have seen the damage it can do, yet I feel scared that I will never be able to stop. My age makes my addiction even more of a challenge because it is impossible to escape drinking. My friends are all drinkers and like to party, I honestly don't know how to entertain myself without alcohol and I can acknowledge that it's a problem.

I have managed 30 days sober once before, and it was extremely difficult to the point where I felt that I had to isolate myself from social scenes just to avoid caving. I relapsed by convincing myself that I didn't have a problem, and that I would just have one or two drinks occasionally. It quickly went back to the way it was before. Today is the first day of my new life. I no longer want to feel trapped by alcohol. I want to be healthy and happy and live life without this dangerous addiction. I am reaching out for any type of advice or experience in quitting! HELP!