Its me, charlie, the original poster. I got back from my function. I call it a failed success and a successful failure. By nature I am a binge drinker. Once I start I don't stop. I caved today and had 5 beers. I left and on the way home I stopped by the store and bought more, but poured them out as soon as i got home. I did not stop at the bar either (which is typical). I am at home with my family doing puzzles. It was a success because I'm not still drinking tonight and I am sober. It's a failure because I'm disgusted that I am too much of a weakling to stand my ground under these circumstances and drink period. I also feel like I let my whole family down. They don't know but I do.