I will say again...as long as he is committed to recovery and to a program who cares which one it is. You are working on you, he is working on him.
I would agree that for me I did not agree with every single thing in the definitions. I don't have the power to fix my AH, if I did I would have done it a long time ago. And for one who is getting ready to give such ultimatiums, I hope they also address the financial and family concerns it gives to give an ultimatium to someone like that.
I don't like the idea of putting down another program. I go to CR. That is the one for me. I would never knock another program. For me, I needed a program that would let me work on myself and not have total focus on the alcoholic in my life. That is what it gave me.
I will reach out here and say I beleive recovery is mostly in your mind. If you set your mind to it, you can recover. These programs just give you the tools to help you do it. I believe alot the same about church. I don't think God cares which church I go to. He can read my heart. Going to church is a tool to keep me with like minded people to keep my faith journey on the right path. It is just easier to walk that path with people who have the same general way of thinking and faith system as I do.
Boo..you are doing fabulous! Have a wonderful weekend!