wow. i just read hammer's excerpt from the rr webpage. i think i said about 50% of that stuff to my exA because i was giving ultimatums (notice the "s"). unfortunately for my situation none of it worked.
it does make logical sense though if you give someone an ultimatum and they don't adhere to it, then you leave them to their devices and take care of yourself. but the family has to be prepared to carry out ultimatum rules without exception.