Taking action will help - As 1newcreation suggested, go through your whole house/apt/flat and pour ALL your alcohol out, including the hiding spots. When you're fighting the desire to drink having booze in the house isn't even fair - way too much temptation and if you are alcoholic, you're gonna drink it eventually. If you're hungover it's a good time to pour it out since you'll hopefully be feeling crappy enough that you can get the booze down the drain.
Now don't beat yourself up - you're simply doing what it is we do before we we admit that we are POWERLESS over alcohol. Believe it or not you are not a terrible person, and what you describe is completely understandable for anyone who has ever white-knuckled it!
I agree taking a look at the "Doctor's Opinion" in the Big Book is a great idea - just Google it and you can find it online.