I think the hardest hardest hardest thing for me has always been when I slide into believing it is a choice between something unhealthy (booze, crack vagrant,whatever) and ME. Because it triggers ALL my childhood feelings of abandonment and not being good enough.
Thank you for that insight, I am an ACOA myself and you are right, it is a trigger not being good enough no matter how hard I try and that little voice: if they loved me enough, they would >fill in the blank<
I do owe him a 10 step amend for yelling at him and basically threatening him but I am not sure I am up to doing it promptly