Originally Posted by
anchorbird 
I am not trying to make light of what I did, that I fell off the wagon. I do deserve his anger and frustration, but I am merely saying that I never thought he would do it in that way.
A lot of things happened to me when I was drinking that I never thought would either.
Please don't take any comments as suggesting that you somehow deserve to be treated badly or punished, but as was mentioned already the reality of alcoholism is that it's going to have adverse effects on us in many different ways. A discussion with your husband would probably reveal his motivations or frustrations that led to his actions. Even though you only had a small amount of alcohol and it only happened once, you broke your promise to yourself and your husband. He obviously did not take it lightly - you shouldn't either.