I would suggest keeping a journal to anyone. It has helped keep me sane. I write down everything. My thoughts, feelings, activities for the day, what I did for myself,ect. Sometimes if things get to heavy for me I write about him and then try to let it go. I found that taking stock of our life together or should I say my life with him was very cleanseing. When I put it to paper I can really see what has happened and all the selfish thinking on his part. Writeing it down takes it from my mind and my heart and I can be whole. Good luck Audrey and hope your recovery from surgery goes well and speedy.
Z