Yes I was the same. I have been battling this disease for the past three years. Previous to these three years and feel that I am on the winning side.
When I was crippling myself I had to keep a bottle of booze by my bedside. Just so every couple hours when I started to feel uncomfortable I could take a few shwigs. I would drink all day all night. I didnt have any feelings. I didnt care about anything. I hated myself and my life. And I as well had a tough time remembering anything. My short term memory was completely shot. It does get restored though.
Most important thing is to get sober and stay that way for as long as you can. And if you slip up, just get right back to being sober as fast as possible. Nobody is perfect. Dont beat yourself up. Your life will improve upon your sobriety. If you need get some medical help. Takes the edge off for sure.
All the best. We are all in this together. Life Will Get Better.