"My therapist is working with me on the second part or acceptance. What she had to remind me of is that acceptance is not trying to change what is, AND it is not trying to talk myself out of what is also. Finally there is a part to accpetance that I have not been doing at all. Accepting that where I am with that person is right where I need to be for my learning. She also encouraged me that I don't always have to figure it out of what is mine and what is not mine, but how do I FEEL about what is....right in the moment. For me part of the "figuring it out," is part of my dis-ease and discomfort.
The part I don't completely understand that she told me is that our life journey is really about the learning we get from interacting with others. In the ways that they "trigger" us to learn about ourselves, our feelings and our interactions. It is a way of keeping the focus on me, but also exploring the world around me with curiosity....a "why" of how I see the world instead of putting it into a right and wrong category. "
Thanks for sharing. That's an interesting perspective.
I can see how asking for the "why" helps making me aware of old, dysfunctional patterns, but I also see the risk of future manipulation when getting sucked into a new cycle of analyzing, rationalizing and minimizing instead of saying "this is bad, it makes me uncomfortable, life is too short, I'm moving on.". So many things in life where balance seems to be key.