Welcome, GoingBerserk.
Have you heard of the Three C's? You did not Cause it, you cannot Control it, you cannot Cure it. I've learned that asking about the A's drinking, counting drinks, etc. are attempts to control...may not always feel like it, but it is. The A's excuses are what is called "quacking"...there are some amusing threads on that.
In addition to HoneyPig's suggestions, I would suggest reading about detachment and boundaries; you can search the forum for the terms. Detachment will help you reduce the effect his behaviors/words have on you. Boundaries will help you modify your behavior so you prevent yourself from being affected. A boundary I used when RAH was drinking was not to engage with him after four beers. He was generally good humored for the first few beers then grew increasingly irritated with me after that which would just leave me upset. When I stopped engaging with him after he'd been drinking a few, I stopped getting upset.
Something else I've learned that I've found is so important is that it is okay to get mad. We have needs and wants too and it is our responsibility to make sure they are met. Like everyone here, you probably had some expectations for your life and now feel like your A is throwing it all away for alcohol. Absolutely maddening! A great book that talks about this (and many related topics) is Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.
I hope that you are making sure your children are not in the car with AH when he is drinking & driving. You and your children are your top priorities so please do all you can to take care of them.
Please keep reading & posting.