Hi.
I can't believe I find myself here typing this out about my own AH. Just a couple yrs ago I was defending him to his mom who thought he was an alcoholic for drinking 2-3 beers a day and now it's 5-7 and I know he has a problem. Three months ago he got very sick and quit smoking/drinking until he was well. He has still quit smoking but went straight back to drinking. He uses the excuses "I'm trying to quit smoking" "I don't have a problem" "You don't know what I have to go through at work" "I'm not bothering anyone, just relaxing after work."
The thing is we have kids and he is actually very attentive and nice with them... so "functional". After the 4th beer, he starts to become obnoxious towards me. Not mean, just loud, inappropriate and annoying.
A few days ago, he got pulled over for speeding and got ticketed for open container. I had to pick him up and he was ashamed, proclaimed he would cut way back, only drink on the weekends. Was careful not to say when those weekends fall since his "off work" days actually fall during the week. The next day he did not drink on the road which I'm soooo happy about but did come hm and drink 6 beers, next day 5, and tonight 5. He has still not drank on the rd again.
I'm just so scared of where his addiction is taking him. I know I can't control his actions. I get so mad when I see him:
a) come hm with a 6pk,
b) drink 2 before dinner
c) skip dinner and drink number 3
d) has that 4th which means there's a good possibility he'll go ahead and have 1-3 more. BY the 4th I get livid and become vocal. I know that's bad of me. I just lose my temper.
Tonight we watched "28 days". I love that movie and hoped it would get him to thinking. He acted obnoxious through the 2nd half of it. Oh another thing he does is call me "mean" when I call him out on things. And "People who want to help someone quit drinking aren't supposed to be mean to them". He is a master manipulator and tries to work me and I immediately inform him that's not going to work so he calls me "mean" and laughs it off. Again, he's not a mean drunk at all, quite jovial usually.
Actually he doesn't tend to get "drunk" anymore.. I'd call it very tipsy or lightly drunk at most. By the time he's at that point he goes to bed.
I just don't want this to get worse. I feel like we're at a crossroads and I have to throw the train switch before it's too late but only he can so I'm so frustrated with him bc I've pleaded with him for 2 months now to get a hold of himself. And he won't. He just won't.
Any suggestions for me at this juncture?