This is Huge for Me
Today I have 30 days. This is so huge for me. I have made maybe 2 weeks here and there and then the longest stretch of sobriety in the past 10 years has been when I was pregnant. I feel like I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. The first two weeks in were great, very productive, lots of renewed energy. These last two weeks have been tough. Cravings, extreme tiredness and anxiety. BUT, I'm better now then I was then and I know it took years to get me to where I am now so my "instant gratification" personality is having a tough time.
I do not post often but I visit here everyday and want to thank you all for sharing your stories and words of wisdom. They have helped me in ways I cannot describe. I really used to just sit and cry and think "that will never be me, I just can't do it" when reading everyone's sobriety milestones. I am so thankful and humbled to have these 30 glorious days, good, bad and very bad. I spent two major holidays sober. First time in I can't remember how long.
I thought I was a lost cause, I rationalized a million different ways that I wasn't really an alcoholic. I switched my drinks, liquor to wine, wine to beer. Changed the times and days I drank, only drink at parties, only drink with friends. No matter what I did it didn't change what happend when I picked up that first drink. Anyone else feeling like you can't do it, don't feel that way If I can do this, so can you.