I myself had 10 years before going back out. I made it back last year for six months. Then I went back out. It is tough but we can do it. We know what we have to do. I am still continuing to slip...few days sober, then drinking and using, then sober...a vicious cycle.
For some reason it is hard to get back when you have a lengthy period of sobriety and then slip. I don't get it.
Meetings and SR are the only way. I truly feel and empathize with you. Hang in there. You are doing better than I am.
Love,
Laci