I can relate to the feelings you are having. Some days I am on top if the world and so proud of myself for how far I've come. Other days I get sad that I'm an alcoholic with a "disease" that I will have for the rest of my life and that I will be going to AA meetings forever to get my dose of "medicine". Especially when I am around others who are drinking, I tend to get uneasy about being an alcoholic.
I try to remember the positive aspects of being an alcoholic such as the opportunity to truly change my life. The opportunity to know what it's like to go to hell and come back. The realization of how good it feels to give and help others. I think everyone could benefit from a 12 step program in life regardless of who they are. We alcoholics get this opportunity to develop purpose in our lives. When I think of how grateful I am I usually snap out of the self pity party in a couple of hours.