Originally Posted by needingabreak

I want you to know I was not intimating that he didnt care for you or was faking his attraction to you. I felt he was saying these negative things to have control. That is what they do. They say things that bring you down a notch, put you in your place or have you questioning your worth to get the upper hand.

I dont think going to the sofa because you were upset with his behavior is putting pressure on him. Just my thought but if I told you my husband said I was getting heavy and wasn't attracted to me so I tried to talk about it and he didnt like it would you think I was putting pressure on him or would you think I was trying to get to the bottom of what he said so we could figure it out?
He may make you feel like you were putting pressure on him but having a discussion should not make you feel like you are pressuring someone and therefor should not speak about it. It is another form of control.

I am glad you decided to come here for support and I know from experience how hard it can be to hear the hard truth or not what we want to hear. Some may feel picked on but believe me that is not what I nor anyone here is about. We all care very much about the people who come here and tell them the brutal honest truth (as gently as possible) of what we have learned from our own experiences.We learn a lot ourselves, every day.

No matter what you decide, I hope you continue to come here and post. I know this is a difficult issue to deal with and no answer seems easy.