Originally Posted by
needingabreak 
"Why do you feel he is "sick?"
Well, alcoholism is a disease, right? Not a choice? Picking up a drink or not is a choice but being this way and having to deal with additional stuff isn't. Am I getting this wrong?
Originally Posted by
needingabreak [COLOR="Red"]I am curious why you think he all of a sudden changed his mind and felt differently?
Because he said that, how he said that, what his actions were and because all along I felt intense attraction from him to me. Come on guys, some things you can't fake. That's why I reacted strongly, when it suddenly changed, hence our confrontation on such sensitive matter, things he said and all the rest. Prior to that and after 'resolving' this (maybe not quite, since I am writing about it here now) he is naturally affectionate etc. I cannot imagine a human being faking chemistry and connection like that, and not feeling attraction. If there was a slightest sign that he wasn't fully in it, I wouldn't continue. That's why I have this strange feeling that he sees problems where there aren't any.
Originally Posted by
needingabreak He gave you examples of how you could be more attractive and said he didn't want sex. Now all of a sudden he does. Do you not find this odd that once you dumped him he changed?
Yes, I do find this odd, like some other few things. But for me, call me stupid, one thing is brain damage, which was mentioned earlier, and another an evil intention or a character flaw which won't change. I worked for around 2 years with sufferers of dimentia, they too displayed odd behaviours, obviously far more odd. Those were someone's mothers, fathers etc, who were still loved and supported.
Originally Posted by
needingabreak "He did tell you. He said you were not attractive and then went on to explain what you should do so he would be attracted to you. He told you the kids would be too much, did he not? Maybe that is ok with you that a man says the things he did to you and the excuse that he gives you" his mind was wandering" and "he had to think it through" are good enough explanations. How did you put pressure on him?
You are right. He did tell me and I did take it at face value. And that is not ok with me, hence me breaking up with him recently. Maybe I just need time to let it go. I undestand this is a damaged person. I just need to accept that there is nothing I can do about it and forget about all the wonderful things we had such a short time ago. This is not easy. How did I put pressure on him? Well, by getting upset in bed and going on a sofa to feel better, before coming back to bed to sleep next to him. It would have not been nice to listen to your GF making lots of noise on purpose and walking up and down the stairs
. Well, basically I made it clear that him turning his back at me didn't feel good.
I am hanging by a finger nail in this relationship. It's just looks like he is genuinely sorry and is trying to fix things. I can see that right now he is trying his best.