There's nothing wrong with you thats not wrong with the rest of us 2b
For years, once I had the impulse 'drink'...it happened.
I did not question it, I did not stop myself, many times I felt like I was on autopilot too.
To stay sober I needed to break that impulse/reaction cycle.
I needed to learn to reach out for help - and to forego that drink.
It's hard - a part of you will
HATE it - but it needs to be done.
You can do it - we all can.
Even when I was on autopilot there's a moment when the spell breaks...reach out, call someone, post here...you can break the cycle and make better different decisions 2B
If you want change, make changes
D