allforcnm

I think you have been through this so many times with his getting violent while getting high on Xanax that your body kicks into a fight or flight mode, and since you cannot do either at that moment your body reacts. I too believe you are suffering a trauma here. I hope at some point you can get some therapy to help you work through all the emotions.

I don't have any experience with abusive situations, but a couple of things I wanted to comment on... where we live, there are no kill animal shelters. A couple of them will work to temporarily foster animals when the owner has an emergency type of situation and cannot care for them for a short period of time (a few weeks, a couple months even). An example, when someone has a medical problem and has to be admitted to the hospital and has no one to care for their pets but expect to be able to again in a few weeks. It wouldn't hurt to call around you area and ask if there are any such services available. Rescue groups, shelters... they will have you sign a contract of sorts so there is no confusion. Also inquire with the domestic abuse agencies and shelters as they may have contacts to help you make an escape plan including your pets.

Earlier in your post you were asking about a list of "rules". I think you might be referring to suggestions on how not to "enable" a persons drug use. I think you mentioned you heard "don't give money". I don't think enabling is so much the issue with an abusive situation. Physical abuse and addiction do not always go hand in hand. My husband was never abusive, however he also abused Xanax. He did say it made him agitated, and angry, but he never acted on those feelings with violence. Your BF is showing repetitive behavior and seems very volatile.

I hope you can continue to work on a plan to exit the relationship and their home ASAP. Im so sorry you are going through this, please be careful.