Artic - Don't give up... I've fought with myself so many times I cant count. And right now have made it 42 days. It isn't my longest but it is getting close. That inner voice you heard before is currently being over powered by that AV that (for me) twists the truth and helps me justify why having a drink is an ok thing. I do believe it has to come from within and it sounds like you have that desire in you. All my past attempts have been strained between my wife and I so I can appreciate that too. This time I sat down with her and told her that I really needed her support and we talked openly. I was surprised how supportive she was when I opened up. My recommendation is sit and talk to your husband. I can only imagine from 'their side' what it is like. he wants to help you and my guess is he doesn't know how. Try and talk to him...reach out if you can. For me that is part of what is making this time different.
But know that you have the inner drive to stop... you can do it!!