EH21

I live with my addicted exboyfriend and his mom. I'm going to move and get an apartment to get out of this hellhole of a house as soon as I can. It is such high stress here all because of him (and his enabling mother.) Besides taking enough Xanax to kill a horse and forcing everyone to babysit him he lies to me and he's hit me several times already (all my fault according to him). Just disagreeing with him when he's high is enough to set him off. When he's high he forces me to deal with his presence by following me and when I ask him to leave me alone he turns on me. For example last night he got high and when I noticed and got my purse and drink to back in my room he got really mad at me. He acted like I was the one with the problem for not wanting to be around him. He swears up and down that didn't take anything. When I got up this morning and came downstairs he came upstairs and started harassing me immediately. He wanted to know why I thought he was high (slurring his words with his pupils huge). I really didn't want to engage so I just told him to leave me alone. So he pushes me. He tells me I need to find another place to live and a way to pay for my bills (he won't let me work but I'm looking for work anyway). He loves to hold everything over my head and act like he's this amazing man for allowing me to live here (and deal with his ********). This man never pays his mom rent and runs up all her bills spends all her money on ********
He's a loser and a user and an abuser. I have no respect for him because he doesn't deserve my respect. He hurts me, forces me to babysit him lest he set the house on fire and causes me psychological damage and doesn't even give me the satisfaction of admitting his mistakes. Instead he picks fights with me. His arrogance makes me so mad I could kill him.
Anyway my question is how do I not engage with him. I know there is a list of rules for friends and family of drug abusers I just don't know what they are. Do I ignore him totally(I'm so mad at him for having me quit my job, sell my broken down car, move in and file for temporary disability (I have the back of a 65 year old from an injury my Dr says) all under the pretense that he will support me until I get accepted. Instead he got me totally dependant on him and emotionally and physically abuses me. When I stand up for myself he holds everything over my head. I'm so mad that I could kill him. He talks over me, says things to make me engage and anytime he actually let's me say my piece he's not really listening. How do I not engage? Do I continue to babysit him when his mom isn't here? Do I continue to hide things or keep them out of the way so they don't get stolen or broken? I absolutely have nowhere else to go. Family won't take me in. No shelter has a bed. I don't drive. And I'm desperately looking for work. When I do find work do I worry about what's going on at home (I have three cats that I've gotten very attached to now and I'm not willing to give them up just yet. Do I call the cops with an anonymous tip (he's gone out to get more Xanax)? How do I handle him? How can I make living here as easy as possible? I know I gotta get it through my head that I know how wrong and cruel he is and that's enough. He doesn't need to be aware of it for me to take action. I'm sorry if this was difficult to read- I'm very very frustrated right now. Please someone give me advice!