In the UK, we have "boy racers", its a term we give to anyone who accelerates their car fast, showing off in their modified cars blasting their music out, so the whole street can hear. (I know its a worldwide phenomenon).
Well, thats me. I am sat in that car, wanting the whole world to see how well I am doing, I am so strong, so successful, so good in bed. I can work hard and play hard. Pride and a sense that I am better, than everyone else, because I believe I am. Fuelled all the while and re-enforced by Alcohol, telling me, hey Autan your the man !!!
The problem is, sometimes that boy racer/me catches a glance of himself in the mirror and he realises and sees what everyone else sees. He just an idiot, showing off to himself. Strangers mutter insults under their breath. Girls cant believe how embarrassing he is, he friend act like they don't know him.
Then it hits home. He takes a moment to reflect and decides to change, but in doing so all that bravado and confidence is lost too. Alcohol provided it falsely but it was real to him/me.
Now he realises if he is to live a life without alcohol, he has to meet the world and face it as he truly is and not what he would like himself to be.
Strip away all the BS and we are naked, desperate to cover ourselves again, to regain that false sense of security and confidence.
I say, stand tall, accept who you are without all the nonsense and baggage and when the confidence returns and it will, it will be like your brightening up a room when you enter it, because people will see, its not alcohol thats fuelling your confidence, its your inner strength.
That is very attractive and very infectious. I doubt it can be attained easily or quickly, but certainly something to strive for.