Hey Katy ,
when you come to the next crossroads, you'll begin to understand the signs . Change only happens if we are persistent especially during those times when we get it wrong .
Look out for the signs that you missed last time , keep on tenaciously reaching out and getting the support of SR , AA , life ring , anything that can help fill your mind with recovery. spend time with people who seem comfortable in their own recovery and live a good life .
When i was learning to walk, i fell over a lot, i didn't just lay there flat on my back and give up , get up get on with living your life as best you can , keep on
Bestwishes, m