Your story is not uncommon. Personally after I had a period of sobriety and then began controlled drinking , it always escalated in a similar pattern to you ie one drink here and there turns into two drinks every other night turns into a bottle every day and so on. Like you I also became fed up of this never ending cycle.i have had some cravings recently but this time I am determined to give sobriety a real chance. You will only fail when you give up. All the best