Hi Nicole,
I am the 37 yr old male version of you. You are me 5 years ago when I was at my worst. Everything you described, other than the benzos, is something I can relate to right down to the worn shoes and no couch. I did a 35 day inpatient rehab in 2011. It included all types of addicts, not just alcoholics. I have had few short relapses since then but for the most part have been sober. I now have a new apartment with a new couch and multiples new pairs of shoes haha.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that things DO get better. Trust me. You are at rock-bottom which means the only way is up! Welcome!