I had the same experiences...When I couldnt stop drinking ( 7 days streight day and night) I cut myself preaty bad. I just couldnt handle being alone anymore. I ended up in a hospital...shamed, embarrassed but some how relieved...I felt safe. I didnt stop drinking but I drank much less thinking...see everyone I am not an alcoholic. Yeah right...now I know I am and on my way to recovery. I am scared and panicked but I know its temporary. One day at the time...lets do it together cause we are not alone!