Hi Nicole - welcome
You'll find a lot of support here.
I identify with a lot of your story - especially that drinking is getting more and more dangerous for you - I remember the same for me too.
I know it seems like you can;t live with out booze but you can - and rather than helping your anxiety, it's probably making it worse - you now not only have the pre-existing anxiety but the extra anxiety of addiction and wanting a glass of something to feel 'normal' again
there's a better kind of normal tho. I re-discovered a life, and a me, I'd forgotten.
I'm a physically disabled man - life can still be hard, I still have all of those problems and issues I have to deal with - but life is
immeasurably better.
Don't just take my word for it tho - there's thousands of success stories here
I don't have that weight on my shoulders anymore. I'm free.
You can be too
D