I relate with you and the others as well. I'm finding that in social situations that being friendly is enough. There are plenty of people that are willing to take the lead and be the life of the party. My feeling the need to be right in there with them led me to a lot of hangovers over the years. In the end I found a way to be mostly alone, but continued to drink anyway.
I am an introvert and like to be alone, but I need people. I know it is contradictory on the surface, but the small circle of people I do have in my life are very important to me. I like being around them.