Growth through more pain
A few days ago i had an appt to have my usual hair colorist color my hair. it needed it badly. But we got a snowstorm here so I couldn't travel to her (about 45 miles away - she's worth it.) instead, I impulsively decided I needed to get it done that day no matter what, so I went to another salon where I get my hair cut only (the guy who cuts it is excellent and I've gone to him for about 15 years.) I thought maybe he could do a color on me which isn't what his salon usually does for me.
I called ahead and the woman who answers the phone said to come on in, that he would give me a color. When I arrived he said he didn't want to do it, that he was nervous I wouldn't like it then I'd be "mad". He had a woman there do it instead. The bottom line is they don't stay up to date on color treatments and he knew that.
She was rude and had a terrible attitude and wouldn't let me make any decisions for my own hair. She was a know-it-all and did what she wanted anyway and it came out horribly - as in absolutely ridiculous looking.
But I did not listen to my instincts! I should have said from the get-go, "Thank you but this might not work so I think I'll wait for my regular colorist then come back here as usual for my cut."
The owner knew my hair looked awful and shooed me out Of the store. I should have said, "you know, I actually can't leave like this. What can you do to fix it?"
I called the next day and told another receptionist that I couldn't walk around like this and wondered if the owner would be able to compensate me the large sum of money I had spent on it. The colorist got on the phone and dragged me into an argument so if react. She could not admit she had made a mistake so she tried to say it was MY FAULT.
WHEN I REACTED, she played victim, saying I was ruining her day, then she hung up.
I wanted RELIEF from my pain (that I had caused by reacting instead of being mature and calm) so I called back and left the receptionist a message for her saying I was sorry if I upset or offended her work. I felt maybe this was "following spiritual principles." But really it was not honest and only secured her self-righteousness
Now she believes she is justified, no one has called me back to make this right, I am out $165 and sitting here with horrid hair, I can't go back there again and I've made an ass of myself and have left myself subject to gossip.
I did it to myself again.
I have to be spiritually fit when I go INTO a situation. I can't make impulsive decisions when I've ALREADY SEEN in the past through other disasters that few people can really handle my fine hair. I have to stop OVER-APOLOGIZING for myself thinking I'm some saint or martyr.
So I'm in all this pain today and can't go back to a place that I've gone to for years to get really good haircuts. And I'm going to have to SIT with the pain and not punish anyone or demand anything else - I have to let it go or I won't get the growth and change this.
Hope all my Adult Children are doing ok today. I love you!