I thought I'd post this as many people new to quitting are worried about social situations when sober and how they'll cope or enjoy them. I've also experienced personally and read posts about people's anxiety about increased social situations over the holiday period. Many have had increased anxiety before, during and after social gatherings together with feeling physically and mentally drained after social interaction.
I started drinking as a teenager precisely because I was nervous and anxious around people and suddenly realized drinking made me feel normal, happy, confident and sociable when with others. Of course it escalated to beyond 'normal' levels that's why I'm here now. If I'm honest I always drank differently to others, or maybe the reasons I drank were different to others. I drank to make me feel different, to fit in,to 'make' me more extroverted, confident and better able to mix.
It's got me thinking how many other people drank because of social anxiety and being introverts. I've read about introverts who dislike and get nervous with constant social interaction and it makes them feel physically and mentally drained afterwards. This is so me. Even just normal interaction on a daily basis can make me feel tired. I crave silence,peace and quiet to regroup and balance. I wonder if many alchoholics are introverts who started drinking to blend in and feel more confident and now worried that if alcohol is taken away then what now?
I'm just over a year sober now and my social circle has naturally changed. I don't go to drinking events/pubs etc.I have new friends, most of whom don't drink ( imagine some people don't drink-I had no idea!!) I still feel anxious in large or intense social situations but accept that there's nothing wrong with that. It's just me. Acceptance of who and what I am has been a key part of me getting sober. I don't need to pretend to be an extrovert of life and soul of the party and I've stopped trying to be someone I'm not.
I would rather be alone but I accept and understand that's ok now. I do not need to pretend or try to be someone I'm not. Of course I do have to do group things sometimes which I manage but ensure I have time afterwards to be alone.There's also nothing wrong with leaving early if it gets too much.
So for everyone getting sober and worrying about how you'll cope in social situations, please try not to worry. Be true to yourself though. Going out to drinking situations with old drinking friends -be honest is it really you or are you just trying to fit in? You'll probably learn a lot about who you are as a person and acceptance of that is key to peace and happiness. I've found I have changed quite naturally and I'm now the me I should always have been
-almost as if the compass has found it's true north instead of me keep trying to force it in another direction.
Of course not everyone will relate to this but someone might
