Hi anaserene, I wanted to welcome you to the board and tell you I'm sorry for what has brought you here. I noticed you've been a member since 2011...So clearly....You are very familiar with your brother's addiction and the chaos it causes. As many of us have had to accept, the unfortunate truth is until your brother wants recovery as much for himself as you do...things aren't likely to change. I spent literally years trying to find the perfect thing to say to get my son to understand the gravity of what his choices were leading to. We can't love them clean. We can, however, make sure we are working from an educated position by understanding all we can about addiction. We can set appropriate boundaries for ourselves in regards to our interactions with them, we can get ourselves to some form of face to face meetings for support, and we can trust that in posting on this site we are safe and amongst others who understand our struggles. Keep coming back, keep posting...Big hug to you today.