Z,
Guy I have no clue who you are but when you said, "and beat ourselves to death about our failures. Beating myself up always just led to justifying another drink."
That is all ten fingers pointing at myself. You nailed it. I just am worried about the stroke, seizure stuff. It is not an excuse, as AA would say. My wife who I love is about to leave me over this. I just want the problem solved and it is not always as simple as don't drink. That can lead to a stroke...yadda yadda whatever stuff. But I KNOW I HAVE TO AND WANT TO.
Basically it is find a Dr. that will not browbeat you.
Get on some bezos to help with the shakes and anxiety
Go to the detox so you don't have a heart attack
Then don't drink again.
Is that the formula?