downward spiral since 18
It's been a while. Can't really say it's good to be back. Here is a quick synopsis. My younger brother has struggled with substance abuse since his early teens. His high school years were spent in two residential treatment programs. He has a nonverbal learning disability and has been diagnosed with bipolar and adhd while using amphetamines or cocaine regularly. He was also diagnosed with conduct disorder, childhood-onset though most of the behaviors started in adolescence so I think he falls closer to adolescent-onset CD. Ever since turning 18, and leaving the strict environments he was in for school/treatment, he's been on a downward spiral. He lost a full ROTC scholarship, got kicked out of college, got a couple minor misdemeanors, was forced by police into a psych hospital when having a psychotic breakdown, wrecked his car, went to jail and plead to a felony, and was released on probation a few months ago. He's now 23. Letting him live with him so long as he followed house rules, no drugs, etc., my father gave him another chance (one of his many "last chances" from dad). Within a few weeks of having a car again, he wracked up four tickets, started smoking pot, and on Christmas got so wasted he threw up in the living room. The day after Christmas, my father told him he had to leave. I offered to let him stay with me, getting the message to him through Dad as he won't take my calls. Dad found straws when cleaning out his bedroom so we aren't talking about only pot. I don't really know how he is faring, if he is dead or back in jail. My Dad would call me if he felt I needed to know. Tonight I got a call from brother's mom, but we are playing phone tag. I'm really worried. I detached for a long time when he went to jail - this was last February. I couldn't take it anymore. I took the Beattie advice and detached with love. I sent him letters that I hope helped him understand that while I loved him very much (like a son), it was now up to him to take care of himself without me because I needed to take care of myself and had no more room anymore for him. I still feel that way so my offer to let him stay with me was done very reluctantly. I can't do anything from here, nor should I anyway, but not knowing what is going on is stressing me out. Thanks for listening.