Kflee,
This is the first I have told anybody about this. Something like this really eats at you and you have to get it out somehow. I was seeing a really good counselor who even purchased several books to learn about Smart Recovery and I stopped going to him. you're so right I need to give him a call on Monday. I feel so ashamed about this but you're right I need to be honest and do this. Thank you so much for your suggestions.