I'm no marriage counselor, so I will spare you the relationship advice, but I am a ex-drunk and drug addict whose moral compass was broke. Getting sober brought the real Doggonecarl to light. So I suggest, like Dee did, quit drinking and re-evaluate your marriage when you gain some sober time. It may not save your marriage, but you will be clear headed about the decision.
Your kids deserve a sober dad, married to their mom or divorced.