Thinking of you AN! It's really hard to change our lives when it comes to drinking. This last week I was in a pitiful state of woe-is-me depression and I similarly either wanted some great disaster (as if this isn't already in the making) or someone to rescue me...I have since realized that a) I don't really want a disaster and NO ONE is going to rescue me (even if I have a disaster).
I had alcohol on 12/29/13 but haven't had any since then. I just can't handle alcohol and it's taken me since last Fall to really realize this fact and to accept the connection between this drug and my mental health. The next time I want to drink I a going to post here b/c I failed to do that and just gave in to what has been the norm for me- drinking!
Anyway - that's just my story. I just want you to know that you are not alone in this crazy battle! Peace!