I was in the same position as yourself, animalnurse9, this time last year. I knew I needed to be sober and I even started attending AA meetings. Well, I won't say I knew that I needed to be sober, I simply wanted to be. Trust me, there is a quite a difference. I went to meetings and listened most of the time. I would talk at times but never felt like I fit in. Most of the people there had hit a rock bottom I didn't know existed. Many people at the meetings were former drug users in addition to alcoholics. I never so much as drank and drive, much less earned a DUI. I never had a blackout before and I certainly didn't get in fights or become physically ill when I drank. Though I knew deep down that my drinking was not healthy or normal despite those differences. Yet even though I was going to meetings a couple times a week and had my life together I could not for the life of me get sober for more than a couple weeks at a time. After 3 months of attending meetings I decided that I was not an alcoholic.... or at least not a bad one!
Fast forward 6 months. I was laid off from my job I planned on making a long-term career out of. I was completely devastated. A friend of mine is a chef and hooked me up with a job cooking at a bar since I was newly unemployed. My drinking began to evolve. I was drinking every night on the job (which was fine with my bosses) and drinking one too many drinks to be driving home after work. I was going to an other bar that stayed open 'til 4 am after my bar closed and drank there with other industry people. Though I'm a happily married man I found myself avoiding going home and flirting with strange women in bars. I knew all of this behavior was a result of losing my job but I didn't realize just how down it was really dragging me. I was in denial about that too.
As would fate would have it, I was pulled over one night after work (having drank a couple beers) because of a minor traffic violation. I admitted I had a beer before driving and of course I had to get out of the car. I was terrified. I was extremely luckily that I was only given a field sobriety test and I passed, but I knew the Universe was giving me a not-so-gentle nudge to wake up to my alcoholism. It took me a couple months and drinking on a new job (which is not acceptable) to come to terms with my shame associated with my drinking, but I finally got it. I'm 6 days sober now and doing 90 meetings in 90 days. I couldn't make a meeting last night in person after work so I did an online chat meeting. I'm putting my sobriety first now because I know I have to. My rock bottom was low enough for me. I can't imagine the place I'd be in if gets any worse.
My point to that long drawn out story? Getting sober is a very personal choice and you have to be in the right place with the right mentality. It has taken me three attempts so far to get on the track to long-term sobriety. I really hope that you can get sober now but if by some small chance you don't... that's okay too. And it doesn't mean you can't be sober in the future. Everyone is going to experience a different kind of "rock bottom" or ways they abuse alcohol. Remember that at meetings. Look for all the ways you're similar to other alcoholics, not differences. That was a huge stumbling block for me. Best of luck and please feel free to e-mail me if you need help.