Geez, I hope I never have to experience what you have. But, I hope if that happened to me, I'd have the courage to be honest with my wife, my AA family and then try to find out what made me think it was ok, after an extended period of sobriety to take a pill or a drink. Drinking or drugging again just doesn't happen out of the blue.
I hope you work your way through this and don't give up. My son was sober 19 years and started to take Vicodin. He's now been sober a little over 3 years. There's a story about Bill W., who on his death bed, made one last wish. It was for one more drink! That tells me that even after years of sobriety, the damn disease doesn't just pick up and move on. It's always there. Question is, what do I or should I do when that thought comes to mind?
My prayers are with you.
