because a part of you wants help I expect.
I found it really hard to reach out, and ask for help. I wanted to be able to solve my problems myself.
I also felt that reaching out to others made my problems more real, and thee was no turning back.
but I also didn't want to live my life another day the way I had neen so I learned to reach out for help, before and during trouble, not after.
you can learn too AN - there's a part of you that wants change - listen to that part
D