Dammit Kyrie! I really enjoy your posts here. Not talking about the daily word things, though I have nothing against them. I always felt the things you yourself posted were honest, thoughtful, and well stated.
I've been one of the forunate ones who got sober once, so I don't have experience in going back out. If I did however, I know I'd give it my all to get back on the horse and find what I could do differently this time.
I've seen lots of people not be able to get sober for years and years, and then something clicks and they never drink again. I've seen people pick up after years of sobriety, and then get right back into it. They lose their sober time, but that's all they lose. And they gain new perspective and put things into place. Things that needed to be put into place.
I say hang in there... and stick around here. I believe you're wise enough to know what you need to do. Just do it.