(((((((Gabigoo)))))) I'm so right with you. I just asked my Ah for a divorce 2 nights ago. We have two children, 4 and 5. I can't even think about what I am going to tell them, as I get too upset. i cried literally ALL die the day after I told him... I am scared too. I don't know what the future will bring, but I know it has got to be better than the hell it's been for the past 2-3 years. whatever life brings us, we'll be okay - and just think how much better off our children will be. I would never forgive myself if I didn't do whatever it took to prevent my children from being exposed to this when they are older, and he will have progressed even further. I like you, asked him to leave once before, and he convinced me he'd quit drinking... that lasted a brief amount of time. But, really - it's not the actual drinking, so much as the behaviors associated with it. unless he really wants help, and I mean REALLY wants it - he's never going to change. We deserve better...and so do our children. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, and we can do this!!!