Hi Nikka - I've been where you are at and know how bad you are feeling. Yes you need to stop drinking. Today is your day 1. There are lots of wise and compassionate people on this forum to help you. I was a binge drinker almost my whole life and it bought nothing good, it stunts your growth and brings only heartache and sickness. I've been sober several months now and yes, it's hard work (some days, some minutes, harder than others) but I've also experienced such feelings of love and gratitude that it takes my breath away sometimes. I hope you get to know what I'm talking about. You can do it, and better to start now than later. Hugs.