I always feel like I am missing out, but I tell myself that I am gaining something deeper than the thrills of drugs and alcohol. My brain and I learn to cope. I change my very soul every day to get more comfortable with myself. I tell myself and I take action on my sobriety day in and day out and my relationships with my parents and my friends is deeper. I don't have the highest highs or the lowest lows anymore but the people in interact with generally have a positive experience with me. When I was drinking it was a hot mess....Jail...puke...hospitals...money....pain... grief...shape....Delayed gratification...