Originally Posted by
Stung 
Ugh... Dating. That is nowhere in my foreseeable future. He's the only person I've ever been with and my kids are tiny. I can't date. And I think I'll truthfully be really, really hurt if he started dating people.
It would be more like I'd go out into the real world again, get my career up and running again and put my kids into daycare. I think I want the help of having an in-house spouse but I don't want to make any determination on what my relationship with him is right now. I mean, do those feelings change?
I'm don't know why I'm afraid to tell him I want to stay separated. I just am. I know I want that but telling him that freaks me out.
I know your fear. I have it too. There is a lion in you, a lion that won't allow her cubs damaged, not even emotionally; that's why you separated yourself. Youll find that voice because you and those children rely on it. I didn't think I could do what I did yesterday, but I found the strength when push came to shove, not literally speaking. It felt so GOOD! to get that off my chest. YOU will feel so GOOD when you get your needs out there, whether he likes hearing it or not, you will FEEL GOOD! Shoot.. you may do like I did yesterday and it may just keep rolling out of your mouth everything you've need to say for a long time. And you know what, being said in kindness, its good for you and it's good for him to hear it whether he knows it or not. I found a little bit of spine yesterday and I pray you find more of yours. I say more of yours because you found enough of it to make the move you already have.. bravo! You CAN do what you need to do for your sanity.. YOU CAN. None of it means it has to be permanent, thats the beauty, but it will give you the time you need to sort thru everything, to heal, and give him the opportunity to do the same. I have to be honest, I've been on a feel good high every since. Ive been nicer to everyone around me as a result, too.