I feel like my husband has successfully demolished his integrity and at the same time has stripped me of my dignity.
But let's say that I get over my individual issue of feeling reduced.
Let me ask you a question:
Why do you feel like you need to get over that feeling?
Why do you feel like you need to take responsibility for his actions and fix something he has broken?
Why do you not let yourself feel your feelings and act upon them, rather than upon what you think is expected of you (by whom)?
You have an absolute right to your feelings.
You have an absolute right to NOT get over being abused.
You have an absolute right to choose a life for yourself where you live abuse-free.
You do.
And you are worth it.
I lived with abuse for way too many years. And when I think about it, I get this image of a mother standing in line in the grocery store and her kid throws her hat out of the cart, the mom picks it up, the kid throws it out, the mom picks it up, repeat. It was like that. He was abusive, I apologized and tried to fix it. He was abusive, I apologized and tried to fix it. It wasn't until I realized that HE was the one who should apologize and fix or it wouldn't work that I started feeling like I actually had a right to step away from the fixer role...
And of course he never did.