I am taking off my alkie hat and putting on my codie hat
If he is the same kind of codependent that I am, you never pulled one over him. He instinctually knew when you drank even if he was somewhere else, he would sometimes just get that nagging feeling of anxiety and know it in his guts.
He would pick up your mood and attitude change and internalize them to the point where he felt those were his.
Shoot, I could be in a different room and here the pop of a can or a bottle and know when it was soda or if it was alcohol.
He knew you were lying and sneaking but for one reason or another chose not to confront you.
The best amend you can do to him is a living amend. As partners of active alcoholics, we have heard the "I m sorry, I'll quit, it won't happen again" so many times that we have become blase.
It takes a long time to regain the trust of your loved ones. Everyday you are a loving wife who remains sober, you are coming closer to regaining that trust and you are making amends to him.
OK taking off my codie hat and putting my alkie hat back on.