suncatcher---It is tough when we see our kids behaving in ways that are detrimental. As parents, we want and dream of better for them. Also, I think whatever brings strife into our family hurts, also. I can understand that you are worried for him.....worry seems to come naturally for us mothers......
I think for us---with children of that age---we have got to get used to the concept that there some things that we have no control over (even though we would LOVE to).
I once had a conversation with a psychologist who, himself was a recovering alcoholic of a few years---and, he said to me that he had never, once, seen an alcoholic get sober while living in the parent's house. That has al ways stuck in my mind. I do believe that it is true.
The hard reality is that he will start taking care of himself when he has no other option.....and, he will deal with the drinking when he feels that he needs to. The best we can do is step out of the way and not enable them. Of course, you will still love him.
That never changes.
dandylion