Some background info: I do have some guilt over the divorce that I wanted. The kids were all out on their own pretty much and my daughter and grandson were living with us. I do tell him when he is being disrespectful and he plays the victim like everyone blames him for things. He is the middle child. My daughter, grandson and ex husband moved into an apartment after the divorce. I got my own one room apt and went back to school for nursing. My daughter has a hard time making it on her own financially since she is paying back her student loans so she shares living expenses with my ex husband who is in disability. My kids had a good upbringing. No alcoholism or abuse we were a nurturing family. Alcoholism runs in ex husbands family though and my son started drinking in high school and then more so in college. I hoped it was a phase he would grow out of but clearly he is not going to any time soon. His money he makes goes to beer and pot. He doesn't pay his bills and seems content to just get by sleeping wherever he lands. He just got fired from another job for not showing up because he was hungover. I don't tolerate his disrespect but I do worry and wish I could help him . I hope this helps full in the gaps. Thank you all for posting and helping me sort things out.