My (now) 25 y/o daughter got her first DUI at 19. Rehab, sober living, therapy, thousands of dollars and 6 years later she is an addict. It got worse for her...and for me. Her sister detached long before I have been able to do so. I have continued to try to support my AD through money, love, time, energy, etc. etc. Her sis tried by offering her a place to stay, emotional support, etc. I, too, live in a different country than my AD. She came to visit this year, and ended up stealing, lyinging etc. and I literally threw her out. I am finally coming to accept that I have to let her fall....I have been catching her for years, to no avail. Guilt...yes...I definitely know how that feels....but now I am coming to realize how she uses that to manipulate me. I have found these forums to be very helpful in coming to terms with my own issues as well as learning to cope with my AD. Despite my fears, worries, "help" and in spite of all of it...she is who she is and it is her life...her choices...and her consequences. My oldest daughter recently told me that she had seen a therapist who asked her, "Are you addicted to your sister's addiction?" Wow...outta the mouths of babes....as she said this to me I was shocked at how perceptive she had become....she was done. Now, I am learning to follow her lead.